What Did Benjamin Franklin Say About Friendship? Best Quotes + Advice

Benjamin Franklin understood something about friendship that many people today have forgotten: true friends are rare, valuable, and worth far more than wealth or fame. In an age of thousands of social media "friends," Franklin's centuries-old wisdom on genuine connection feels more relevant than ever.

Throughout his writings—especially in Poor Richard's Almanack— Franklin shared dozens of observations on friendship, loyalty, and the difference between true companions and fair-weather acquaintances. His advice wasn't merely philosophical; it was practical wisdom forged through a lifetime of building relationships that changed history.

Key Takeaways

• Franklin called a true friend "the best Possession"—more valuable than wealth
• He advised: "Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing"
• Friends who tell you your faults are more valuable than flatterers
• Fair-weather friends "attend only while the sun shines"—hardship reveals true loyalty
• Franklin practiced friendship through his Junto club—deep bonds through shared learning

A True Friend Is the Best Possession

In 1744, Franklin wrote what may be his most profound observation on friendship in Poor Richard's Almanack:

"A true Friend is the best Possession."

Note Franklin's deliberate word choice: not a treasure, not a blessing, but a possession. Franklin—who wrote extensively about money and wealth—understood that material possessions come and go. But a true friend? That's an asset that compounds over a lifetime.

This wasn't abstract philosophy for Franklin. He formed the Junto in 1727—a group of twelve friends who met weekly for mutual improvement. Many of these friendships lasted his entire life, spanning fifty years and more.

On Choosing Friends Wisely

Franklin's most actionable friendship advice appeared in 1735:

"Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing."

This aphorism contains two profound principles:

Slow Selection

Don't rush into intimate friendship. Take time to observe someone's character through different circumstances. See how they behave when things go wrong, not just when things go well.

Slower Abandonment

Once you've chosen a friend, don't discard them quickly. Work through disagreements. Forgive imperfections. Franklin knew that long friendships are rare and worth preserving.

Franklin elaborated on friend selection elsewhere:

"Be civil to all; serviceable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none."

This hierarchy reveals Franklin's approach: be kind to everyone, help many people, but reserve true friendship for a select few. Quality over quantity.

On Maintaining Friendships

Franklin understood that friendships require active maintenance:

"When befriended, remember it; when you befriend, forget it."

This advice captures the essence of genuine friendship:

• Remember kindness received: Don't take friends for granted. Appreciate and reciprocate.
• Forget kindness given: Don't keep score. Give without expectation of return.

Franklin also wrote:

"Do good to your friends to keep them, to your enemies to win them."

This connects to his Justice virtue: treating others fairly and generously, regardless of how they've treated you.

On Speaking of Friends

Franklin's Silence virtue extended to how we speak about others:

"Hear no ill of a friend, nor speak any of an enemy."

And more broadly:

"Speak ill of no man, but speak all the good you know of everybody."

This advice serves two purposes:

• Protect your friends' reputations by refusing to engage with gossip
• Build others up by sharing their positive qualities

Franklin knew that words spoken about friends—whether to defend or defame—reveal your own character as much as theirs.

Friends as Mirrors

One of Franklin's most paradoxical insights concerns the value of honest feedback:

"The wise man draws more advantage from his enemies than the fool from his friends."

And more directly:

"Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults."

Why would enemies be more valuable than friends? Because enemies will tell you uncomfortable truths that friends may hide to spare your feelings. Franklin expanded on this:

"'Tis a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his."

True friendship requires both vulnerabilities:

• Trust enough to reveal your own flaws
• Courage enough to point out theirs when it serves their growth

This connects to Franklin's Sincerity virtue: "Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly." Real friends are honest mirrors.

On Fair-Weather Friends

Franklin knew that prosperity attracts companions, but adversity reveals true friends:

"A false friend and a shadow attend only while the sun shines."

This vivid metaphor captures a timeless truth: some "friends" disappear the moment life gets difficult. Like shadows, they exist only when things are bright.

Franklin also warned about those who keep secrets poorly:

"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead."

While humorous, this quote reminds us: be careful who you trust with sensitive information. Not everyone who claims friendship deserves your complete confidence.

Applying Franklin's Wisdom Today

1. Audit Your Inner Circle

Franklin reserved deep friendship "to one." Review your closest relationships. Are they people who tell you hard truths? Who stay during difficulty? Quality matters more than quantity.

2. Practice Slow Selection

Before calling someone a close friend, observe them through varied circumstances. How do they treat those who can do nothing for them? How do they respond to your failures?

3. Be the Friend You Seek

Franklin's advice works both ways. Be honest but kind. Stay during hard times. Speak well of friends always. Give without keeping score.

4. Create Your Own Junto

Franklin's Junto met weekly for mutual improvement. Consider forming a small group focused on growth—reading, discussion, and honest feedback. Deep friendships often form through shared purpose.

5. Value Honest Feedback

Seek friends who will tell you your faults. "Yes men" and flatterers feel good but don't help you grow. True friends risk the relationship to tell you what you need to hear.

Track Your Sincerity

Use our Ben Franklin Virtues app to practice the Sincerity virtue—the foundation of honest friendship. Track how well you speak and act with integrity toward those you care about.