How do I control my emotions?

Franklin's Tranquility virtue: (1) Distinguish trifles from real problems—most upsets aren't worth the energy, (2) Accept unavoidable difficulties calmly—anger doesn't change them, (3) Pause before reacting—delay gives perspective, (4) Practice daily through tracking and reflection. Emotional control is a skill built through practice, not a trait you have or lack.

What is Benjamin Franklin's Tranquility virtue?

Franklin defined Tranquility as 'Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.' It means maintaining emotional stability by not being upset by minor annoyances (trifles) or things you can't control (unavoidables). It's about choosing calm responses rather than reactive disturbance.

How can I stop being so emotional?

Franklin's approach: First, reframe—you're not 'so emotional,' you're learning emotional regulation. Second, identify triggers—track what upsets you. Third, ask 'Is this a trifle or unavoidable?' Most disturbances fall into these categories. Fourth, practice the pause—delay reactions until calm. Emotional control improves with systematic practice.

What is the difference between controlling emotions and suppressing them?

Suppression means hiding or ignoring emotions; control means choosing your response. Franklin didn't suppress feelings—he questioned whether reactions were proportionate. His Tranquility virtue asks 'Should I be disturbed?' not 'Should I feel nothing?' The goal is appropriate response, not numbness.

Did Benjamin Franklin struggle with his emotions?

Yes. Franklin admitted struggling with anger and impatience throughout his life. He said he never achieved perfection in his virtues. But by practicing Tranquility systematically—tracking failures, focusing intentionally—he improved significantly. His struggles make his methods more applicable to ordinary people.

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Modern Application

How to Control Your Emotions: Franklin's Tranquility Method

Franklin's Tranquility virtue teaches emotional regulation: distinguish trifles, accept unavoidables, pause before reacting, and practice daily.

11 min read

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January 28, 2026

Benjamin Franklin wasn't naturally calm. He struggled with anger, impatience, and pride throughout his life. But he developed a virtue specifically for emotional regulation: Tranquility.

Franklin's approach to emotional control is practical and systematic—not about suppressing feelings, but about choosing responses wisely. Here's how to apply his method.

Key Takeaways

Most emotional disturbances come from trifles or unavoidables
Tranquility means choosing your response, not suppressing emotion
The pause between trigger and reaction is where control lives
Emotional regulation is a skill built through practice
Franklin's approach aligns with Stoic philosophy

Franklin's Tranquility Virtue

Franklin's definition:

"Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable."
— Benjamin Franklin, 11th of 13 Virtues

This single sentence contains a complete framework for emotional control. Franklin identified the two main sources of disturbance:

Trifles: Small things that don't deserve emotional energy
Unavoidables: Things you can't control anyway

If something is a trifle, it's not worth being disturbed about. If something is unavoidable, disturbance still doesn't help. Either way, Tranquility is the appropriate response.

What Tranquility Is Not

Franklin's Tranquility isn't:

Suppression: Pretending you don't feel emotions
Indifference: Not caring about anything
Passivity: Accepting things that should be changed
Numbness: Blocking all emotional experience

It is:

Proportionality: Matching emotional response to actual importance
Discernment: Distinguishing what deserves energy from what doesn't
Choice: Responding rather than reacting
Stability: Maintaining equanimity amid disturbance

Strategy 1: Distinguish Trifles

Most things that upset us are trifles. The traffic jam. The rude email. The broken appliance. In a week, we won't remember them.

The Trifle Test

When you feel disturbed, ask:

"Will this matter in a week? A month? A year?"
"Is this worth the energy I'm spending on it?"
"What would a calm person think of this situation?"

Most disturbances fail the trifle test. They feel important in the moment but aren't actually significant.

Why Trifles Disturb Us

Our brains evolved to react quickly to threats. But modern "threats" (slow WiFi, cancelled plans) aren't actually dangerous. The reaction is disproportionate.

Practice Franklin's System Today

Track your virtues with the same method Franklin used—now in a beautiful iOS app with morning reflections and evening reviews.

Get the App

Strategy 2: Accept Unavoidables

Franklin's phrase "accidents common or unavoidable" covers everything outside your control:

Weather and traffic
Other people's behavior
Past events
Natural aging and mortality
Economic conditions

These things will happen regardless of your emotional state. Being disturbed doesn't change them—it only adds suffering to suffering.

The Stoic Connection

This echoes Epictetus: "Some things are within our power, and some things are not." Wisdom is knowing the difference and not wasting emotional energy on what you can't control.

How to Practice

When disturbed, ask: "Can I actually change this?"
If no: redirect energy to acceptance
If yes: redirect energy to action (not disturbance)

Strategy 3: Pause Before Reacting

Between stimulus and response is a gap. That gap is where emotional control lives.

"When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, count to a hundred."
— Often attributed to Thomas Jefferson, echoing Franklin

The pause serves several purposes:

Physiological: Stress hormones begin to dissipate
Cognitive: Rational thinking comes back online
Perspective: The situation often looks different after delay
Choice: You can select a response rather than reacting automatically

Pause Techniques

Take three deep breaths before responding
Delay sending angry emails by 24 hours
Leave the room temporarily before difficult conversations
Ask: "What would I advise someone else to do here?"

Strategy 4: Practice Daily

Franklin tracked his virtue practice nightly, marking failures:

"I was surpris'd to find myself so much fuller of faults than I had imagined."

For Tranquility, track:

Moments when you were disturbed disproportionately
Times you reacted rather than responded
Situations where you maintained calm successfully

The goal isn't perfection—it's improvement. Franklin never fully conquered his faults, but he became significantly better through consistent practice.

Franklin and the Stoics

Franklin's Tranquility virtue aligns with Stoic philosophy. Marcus Aurelius wrote:

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
— Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

This is Franklin's insight: the disturbance isn't in the event but in your response to it. You can choose that response.

Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius all taught similar principles: focus on what you control, accept what you can't, and maintain equanimity through disciplined practice.

Start Practicing

Use our Ben Franklin Virtues app to make Tranquility your focus virtue this week. Track disturbances, identify patterns, and build the skill of emotional regulation that Franklin developed over a lifetime.